I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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