Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
