One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize