I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
