went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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