Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
