I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
