we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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