I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
