I could have mohawked her pubes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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