Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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