honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
