Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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