No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
