Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
