He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
