whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
