She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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