I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
