i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
