There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
