in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This is the high leading the old right now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
