I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
