Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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