Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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