the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We need to rekindle our bromance
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
