apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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