my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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