She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
