i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize