is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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