I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he shaved USA in his pubs
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
