um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
