Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
