I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
