The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
