we have pet lesbian snakes
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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