Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize