Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
