Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is wine microwaveable?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i out mim tonsoeep
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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