You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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