I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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