I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
