She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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