I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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