well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
