So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
