her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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