I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my being single is dangerous.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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