so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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