I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
