Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
