I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
