Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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