I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
