he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
