Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will be naked everywhere
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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