I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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