Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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