OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have fence marks all over my body
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
