five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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