Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
