My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
